not as good as I'd care for.
Outside of work, things are pretty good. Actually, they'd be really good if work didn't keep dripping over the rails and sullying things. I don't have the energy I'd like. I don't have the good spirits I should. I'm certainly not the generally happy person I normally am. Fortunately my wife, my girlfriend and all our other friends are around and very supportive.
I've really started into the gardening this year. I added 4 new beds and I have the materials for a 5th. I may lay in the 5th before the 2nd plantings, since we should have the old dead shed out and that's where I've slated to put it. I've made some definite mistakes this year, including not starting certain plants soon enough inside, though I did start them earlier than last year. I'm learning and gaining a lay of doing it properly. I'm expanding my library and taking 30 min when I get home from work to spend it on the walker, at a very slow pace, and reading up on the hows, the whys and the whats. This is helping a lot and moving me along in my goals.
Work? Well, work is a soul sucking, life draining experience right now. Five years ago, I was second in the department and being groomed to take the department over. I was being mentored and trained in all the various aspects of running the department. Now, I'm number four at best, and I wouldn't hang my hat on that. I'm relegated to "the data guy" and even then not really given full credit or sway. I am not part of the strategic discussions or decisions. My career at this point is stalled, after having spent several years in reverse. I am so done and so ready to get the hell out. I don't trust the majority of the people I work with or for and those that I don't actively distrust, I have little or no reason to actually trust them.
I at least come home to a place I love and people I love, but I also come home drained, exhausted and depressed. I'm looking for the right change. I'm also living in the world of looking up and storing information on homesteading. Getting out completely is so appealing and quite frankly, something I've wanted for so very long. I'm not saying living off the grid, just saying I want to be self sustaining. I'll work harder than I ever have in my life, and I'll likely be happier than at any point in "career".
We shall see.
- The state of me is